A real toolkit, used the way a senior practitioner uses a toolkit.

EPIC Communication Model

My framework, introduced in Open Deeply.

Most communication models teach empathy and validation. They fail when one or both partners are too dysregulated to actually hear each other. EPIC weaves somatic grounding into the entire communication process, so empathy lands, validation lands, problem-solving lands. We learn to ground each other, and the byproduct is an enhanced sense of love and connection in the room. Then we work on the actual content of what's been hard to say.

Double Triggers

My concept, from Open Deeply.

The moments when both of you are activated by each other’s old wounds at the same time are often when the relationship feels most fragile—when neither of you can steady the other because you are both destabilized. Naming the double trigger and learning to get in front of it before it takes over, is the work. Once you can recognize it in real time, blame begins to drop away, revealing a shared, repeating pattern. As you learn to interrupt it earlier, a new felt sense of agency emerges.

Embodied Consent

My teaching.

Most consent education is heady, verbal, contractual, and mental. That is not enough. People logic their way into 'yes' all the time and ignore the knife-drop in the gut. The practice I teach is three steps: get embodied (somatic check-in from a grounded center), track what's coming up in your body, your emotion, and your thought from that grounded place, and then find your actual consent from there, not from the head, not from the should, not from the want-to-please. After we find your consent, we work on whatever is in the way of you saying it cleanly.

Attachment, reframed

My take on classical attachment work.

Classical attachment theory is rigid and, frankly, archaic in places. I look at how attachment injuries actually play out in your real life. From one relationship to the next, in patterns most existing models don't capture. We map your patterns, we map what gets activated and when, and we work with that reality, not a textbook category.

Positive Affect Tolerance

Established psychological concept, integrated into my work.

In our culture, we champion the person who can handle pain. We see it everywhere—in action films and across media. What we miss is that it takes real emotional scaffolding to tolerate being loved well. We don’t consciously register the impact of attachment injuries—how often we pull away, make a joke, or start a fight when intimacy feels so good it becomes threatening. What if they leave? What if they die? What if they see that you’re not enough? The nervous system reacts when intimacy becomes too vivid. Positive affect tolerance is built like any other capacity: slowly, somatically, through practice, until you can take in the love that’s actually being offered.

Somatic Tracking & Co-Regulation

Established somatic practice, used as a coaching skill.

The skill of noticing what is happening in your body, your emotion, and your mind at the same time, without reacting to it yet. From there, the skill of regulating yourself back to a grounded center. From there, the skill of doing it together with a partner. Co-regulating. This is foundational. Most of the work in coaching depends on this becoming reliable.

Parts-Aware Coaching

Internal Family Systems–informed, in coaching frame.

The parts of you that are blocking what you say you want. The protector that won't let you take in love because last time it cost you. The exile or young part of you that goes silent in conflict. We locate them, we name them, we work with them, not as therapy, but as a mean to build compassionate self-agency. If you don't find these parts, you’ll stay confused while looping in patterns that don’t serve you.

Internal Compass Alignment

My framing.

Most decision-making in non-traditional relationships is run from the head. Pros and cons, fairness arguments, fear management. Your internal compass uses more than that: thought, body sensation, emotion, value, intuition. I teach you to slow down, get grounded, notice when you're spinning, and consult the full compass before you choose. People make different choices when they consult the whole instrument.

Tantra-Inspired Connection Work

Practitioner-developed, drawn from Tantric traditions.

For couples who like to go deep, I offer connection exercises that are Tantra-inspired. Hand on heart, eye gazing, somatic tracking of what arises between you, sometimes shared imagery. They are clothed, structured, and present-focused. Clients consistently report that these are their favorite sessions. Feeling truly seen emotionally and somatically is what most long-term partnerships are missing.