Essays from the practice.
Long-form writing on non-monogamy, kink, queer relationships, embodied consent, and the slow work of building intimate lives that actually fit.
Drawn from Kate's podcast, book, and clinical experience.
- May 21, 2026
How Do I Know if Non-monogamy is Right for Me: Distinguishing Conditioning from Authentic Desire.
The real question is not whether you can handle non-monogamy. It's whose desires, fears, and conditioning you're actually living from.
Sometimes the deepest challenge is not deciding whether consensual non-monogamy is 'right' for you. Sometimes the challenge is discovering which desires, fears, values, and beliefs are actually yours, and which were inherited through cultural conditioning, family systems, or survival strategies.
8 min readNon-monogamyPolyamoryConsent - May 5, 2026
Over-Giver's Dilemma: Love Becomes Self-Abandonment
Why attuning to everyone else leaves you with nothing left for yourself.
Over-givers don't struggle with boundaries alone. They struggle with a distorted sense of self. They give and give and still believe it's not enough.
7 min readBoundariesAttachmentCommunication - May 4, 2026
EPIC Communication Model: Somatic, Trauma-Informed Evolution Beyond NVC
Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication offers a clear path out of blame, but in relationships shaped by trauma, attachment injuries, and non-monogamy, that structure often breaks down right when people need it most.
Marshall Rosenberg's work offers a clear path out of blame. But in relationships shaped by trauma, attachment injuries, and non-monogamy, that structure often breaks down right when people need it most.
8 min readCommunicationEPICAttachment - April 15, 2026
The Ownership Pattern in Non-Monogamy
How dominator culture sneaks back into your polycule, and what to do about it.
Many people enter non-monogamy partly as a refusal of ownership culture. Then they reproduce ownership at the level of attention, time, and disclosure. Here's the pattern, and the practice that interrupts it.
7 min readNon-monogamyPolyamoryConsent
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