Before You Open Up: 10 Questions to sit with first
Most people approach consensual non-monogamy by asking:
“Will this work?”
I think a better starting place is:
“What is actually true for me? What am I somatically ready for? And is this the kind of relationship, and the kind of life I want to create?”
These are ten questions I often explore with coaching and therapy clients who are considering opening a relationship. Not because there’s one “right” answer, but because non-monogamy tends to amplify whatever is already happening beneath the surface.
It’s a grounded reflection tool designed to help you:
- separate authentic desire from conditioning,
- notice where fear, shame, fantasy, or pressure may be driving decisions,
- explore the difference between expansion and self-abandonment,
- and think more deeply about consent, attachment, freedom, intimacy, and emotional capacity.
Some people finish it feeling more drawn toward non-monogamy.
Some feel less drawn toward it.
Some realize they need slower pacing, clearer agreements, or more honesty before making major changes.
All of those outcomes are valuable.
- A grounded starting point to begin a larger discovery process
- Designed to surface what you actually want vs. what you think you should want
- Used by clients in my own practice, in their own time, free
Get the worksheet
Free. We'll send the worksheet straight to your inbox, plus the occasional resource from Kate. No spam, unsubscribe anytime.